My body and schedule are just not normal right now. I think what happened was the pain was bad, i took 2 pain pills, I got TREMENDOUSLY itchy from the pills and couldn't sleep. So, when the itching died down yesterday I got a bit of a nap and now that the sun is up my circadian rhythmns are fighting sleep. Wonder if I could wake G up for a post Valentine's breakfast (we never made it out on VDay so we're planning to go out soon)? But then all the breakkie foods I love are almost impossible for me to eat now. Bye bye pancakes...
I am wrestling with feelings of inadequacy right now as I continue to feel like I let people down :( . G, family, friends.. I wonder how long they will be tolerant of me?
SUPER OPTIMISTIC PLANS FOR TODAY:
call M
gesso canvas'
go out to eat with G
Ulta
clean/sort/donate clothes from den
press shadows
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
working on a painting
Currently revisiting a painting I gave up on awhile back. Not sure if it's coming together yet, but mucking about with it is keeping my mind off things. Today i'm going to mix some varnishes/glazes and see if I can add some depth and cohesiveness. Maybe pix tomorrow?
My doctor has finally written me a script for enough pain pills that I don't have to worry about running out at a bad time. Of course, she wrote it because the pain has been awful lately. And now I have the added side effect of itching and scratching. Lucky me. Anyway, I looked it up and it's not something to worry about. Right now I'm awake and writing here while G is in bed sleeping. Why? Cause I currently feel like I've been kicked in the back. It's a nausea/pain and I don't know if I'll be able to sleep at all.
The most frustrating part of the whole pain thing is WANTING to do things and then not being able to. I can make these lists and plans at night when I'm feeling ok but in the morning the pain is from my neck down to the soles of my feet. Then I feel good for nothing because there's no way i can do even 1/2 of what I wanted to. My uber-patient friend wants me to hang out when she gets out of work but I just can't push myself to do anything.
My doctor has finally written me a script for enough pain pills that I don't have to worry about running out at a bad time. Of course, she wrote it because the pain has been awful lately. And now I have the added side effect of itching and scratching. Lucky me. Anyway, I looked it up and it's not something to worry about. Right now I'm awake and writing here while G is in bed sleeping. Why? Cause I currently feel like I've been kicked in the back. It's a nausea/pain and I don't know if I'll be able to sleep at all.
The most frustrating part of the whole pain thing is WANTING to do things and then not being able to. I can make these lists and plans at night when I'm feeling ok but in the morning the pain is from my neck down to the soles of my feet. Then I feel good for nothing because there's no way i can do even 1/2 of what I wanted to. My uber-patient friend wants me to hang out when she gets out of work but I just can't push myself to do anything.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Monday, February 14, 2011
Sunday, February 13, 2011
good morning
5:30 am and I'm not asleep. watching tv but not really. Emma is on the loveseat next to me and I've tucked her in under my Nightmare Before Christmas blanket. Earlier today I tucked her under the flannel gnome sheets on our bed. She is unbelievably cute in both situations! I kinda want to get a picture of her little head poking out, but I don't want to disturb her.
G and I didn't do much today. Too much tv, too much internet. Had tentative plans that fell through so we just stayed in and I made us cheeseburger hamburger helper and garlic bread. mmm... One cool thing was there were tv shows about kitties on all day. One show featured a woman that had a cat rescue/home and all I can think when I see these people is "why can't I do that?". Why? Cause I don't believe I have the heart for it. How do you rescue some animals and not others? How do you go into a pound and only take 1 cat (cause that's all the room you have for at that moment)? I am seriously considering going to volunteer at a rescue. If I can't handle it I can't handle it.
G and I didn't do much today. Too much tv, too much internet. Had tentative plans that fell through so we just stayed in and I made us cheeseburger hamburger helper and garlic bread. mmm... One cool thing was there were tv shows about kitties on all day. One show featured a woman that had a cat rescue/home and all I can think when I see these people is "why can't I do that?". Why? Cause I don't believe I have the heart for it. How do you rescue some animals and not others? How do you go into a pound and only take 1 cat (cause that's all the room you have for at that moment)? I am seriously considering going to volunteer at a rescue. If I can't handle it I can't handle it.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Hot Pink NYX Blush & Space pigment
Glen dropped me off at the front of Ulta (cause it's FREAKIN COLD!) and I had a bit of a browse through the potions and powders. The Bare Minerals MUA wanted to "help" me but I just let her find me the Lorac 3D set. Swatched the new Urban Decay chubby eyeshadow pencils and was REALLY impressed. They seem to be as waterproof & longlasting as the 24/7 liners. Speaking of which, I didn't even look for the anniversary set and I really need to see it before I buy it. Hmmm... another Ulta trip, perhaps? Anyway, I looked round til I found the new EXPANDED NYX display and then didn't know what to get. The leopard bronzer looks GREAT, but I'm accumulating too many bronzers for a girl so pasty and pale. Who knows, might get it later. Decided on the Hot Pink cream blush and Space pigment. Using my coupon they came out to less than $7.00.
Next stop Bath & Body Works. Dragged G in so I could get an extra free body spray (he's good like that). I didn't see one for Forever Sunshine :( so I'm waiting to get that. Did pick out 6 of the new mini candles in the summer scents and got Black Amethyst & Twilight Woods free. I really like that they offer the small sizes as I hardly ever run out of anything so the small sizes suit me better.
Got back to the car and talked with M until we were home. Much talk of bras and boobies~! LOL~ Today I got dressed and put on this bra I hadn't worn in AGES and it just didn't feel right. I took it off, adjusted it, put it on. Weird, I looked weird in it. Then I took it off and looked at the size. 44C! When did I wear that?? It's so pretty, has it really been sitting there 3 years?? Makes me think it's time to get refitted.
In serious news, I am confused by the news out of Egypt. I understand why the citizens wanted him gone but I worry about what will come next. A democratic society is a process and it won't happen overnight. The new government may not be great. And, yes, I worry what that means for us.
Next stop Bath & Body Works. Dragged G in so I could get an extra free body spray (he's good like that). I didn't see one for Forever Sunshine :( so I'm waiting to get that. Did pick out 6 of the new mini candles in the summer scents and got Black Amethyst & Twilight Woods free. I really like that they offer the small sizes as I hardly ever run out of anything so the small sizes suit me better.
Got back to the car and talked with M until we were home. Much talk of bras and boobies~! LOL~ Today I got dressed and put on this bra I hadn't worn in AGES and it just didn't feel right. I took it off, adjusted it, put it on. Weird, I looked weird in it. Then I took it off and looked at the size. 44C! When did I wear that?? It's so pretty, has it really been sitting there 3 years?? Makes me think it's time to get refitted.
In serious news, I am confused by the news out of Egypt. I understand why the citizens wanted him gone but I worry about what will come next. A democratic society is a process and it won't happen overnight. The new government may not be great. And, yes, I worry what that means for us.
Friday, February 11, 2011
watching youtube on a Friday night
Typing this with a pile of goodies on the coffee table and makeup swatches on my hand. It was a good day. We slept too late (I swear because of the weather) and I had a rough time getting going, but eventually we did. Picked up some iced tea then headed to Target. Picked up a prescription and got a $10 giftcard in return. Woot! All my experiences with the Target pharmacy have been so good. Really personal service and the pharmacists have really gone above and beyond to help us work out prescription issues. If they can keep this up I'll probably never go back to CVS. Heck, I think we ended up using CVS just because they had a drivethru and were near the library.
Anyway, got the groceries at Target and really stocked up on kitty litter, treats and Fancy Feast. Must be prepared in case of another New England blizzard. After we ran back to the car with the food I wavered as to where we would go next. Had a dozen things to do but really didn't want to do anything. Promised to do a favor for a friend yesterday so we headed for Colony Place.
Anyway, got the groceries at Target and really stocked up on kitty litter, treats and Fancy Feast. Must be prepared in case of another New England blizzard. After we ran back to the car with the food I wavered as to where we would go next. Had a dozen things to do but really didn't want to do anything. Promised to do a favor for a friend yesterday so we headed for Colony Place.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Friday To Do List
allergist
Target: inhaler + groceries
Ulta: Lorac + NYX
Bath & Body Works: free coupons
AC Moore: use 40% coupon for art magazine
Michaels: check out the $ stuff
put away clothes from den
AC Moore: use 40% coupon for art magazine
Michaels: check out the $ stuff
put away clothes from den
still hanging around
Not up to much. Have had a bit of a crap week, actually. Back pain, tummy trouble and bitter cold weather has got me a bit down. I guess I have a virus or something cause I've been ill for 3-4 days. Eating is making me sick, but my back is horrible so I have to *try* to eat with the painkillers. Blargh. Thought it was getting better but ate 1/2 my dinner and have been sick since.
Anyway, if I can manage it I'm heading out to Ulta tomorrow (today?) and maybe Bath & Body Works. All they have to do is give me a damn coupon and I end up in their stores. Such a well trained consumer. I hope B&BW has Forever Sunshine. I want to check it out cause if it really is similar to Viva La Juicy I need it!
For some reason I borrowed "New Moon" from the library and will have to watch it. Or try to watch it. I'm sure it's not very good.
Started to break in the new sketchbook G got me. Just some colored inks and glitter so far. Need to gesso a bunch of pages so they're sturdy and ready to go. It seems such a great size to carry around but it kind of heavy. We'll see. Maybe if I get rid of some of the junk I carry in my purse.
Ugh... stomach is bad and we are out of tums. I've had loads of them this week and they seemed to help. I wish we had pepto pills - I can't stomach the liquid. Would a be a horrible wife if I asked G to go get more tums out of the first aid kit in the car?
Anyway, if I can manage it I'm heading out to Ulta tomorrow (today?) and maybe Bath & Body Works. All they have to do is give me a damn coupon and I end up in their stores. Such a well trained consumer. I hope B&BW has Forever Sunshine. I want to check it out cause if it really is similar to Viva La Juicy I need it!
For some reason I borrowed "New Moon" from the library and will have to watch it. Or try to watch it. I'm sure it's not very good.
Started to break in the new sketchbook G got me. Just some colored inks and glitter so far. Need to gesso a bunch of pages so they're sturdy and ready to go. It seems such a great size to carry around but it kind of heavy. We'll see. Maybe if I get rid of some of the junk I carry in my purse.
Ugh... stomach is bad and we are out of tums. I've had loads of them this week and they seemed to help. I wish we had pepto pills - I can't stomach the liquid. Would a be a horrible wife if I asked G to go get more tums out of the first aid kit in the car?
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Kind of a gloomy mood
Haven't posted here for a bit, haven't made anything in a week or so. The winter weather is really getting to me and I know it's bad for G.
Current obsession is The Tudors and I'm only done with season 1
Anyway, Saturday I got a call from my Dad telling me my stepmom had had a stroke. I tried to convince him I should meet him at the hospital but he told me to wait until the next day as Saturday would be full of tests. Sunday I made a floral arrangement then G and I headed into the hospital. It's a small hospital and it looks like it's all private rooms (very nice). By the time we got there she had already gotten movement back in the leg that had been affected. Her doctor came while we were there and he was thrilled with her recovery. We stayed and chatted for awhile and then headed for home. Monday I went to my Dad's for a short while then had a bit of anxiety so I retreated to home. When I called the next day I heard that she had come home. Now she'll be on coumadin (boy i remember that :( ) and all in all it seems she's lucky it wasn't worse.
As for me, there's really no excuse. The weather is awful, but then it is everywhere right now - isn't it. I had a listing on ebay taken down for no reason. Why wouldn't I get some kind of notification if something was wrong? So, that sort of stopped me from ebaying. Must start again as I have too much stockpiled that must go. Keeping all this MAC would be rather indulgent of me and I'm really trying to be practical (HA!). Today I found a bag of Lush I had misplaced. So many bath bombs and soaps. I'm lucky they didn't go bad (Lush has no preservatives). They weren't opened and they were stored n a plastic bag so lack of air must've kept them :) A very luxurious bath warmed me up tonight. Actually, our house is so warm and comfy I was able to slip on my new Norma Kamali nightgown without freezing my bits off.
Willow is snuggled next to me on the couch, I think Emma just woke up. She tends to play and get a bit crazy from midnight 'til 2 am. We call it "Crazy Time". G is on the other sofa blogging about video games. I love it when he writes. I wish he would both take it less seriously and more seriously, which I know makes little sense to anyone but me. If he took it less seriously he could just sit down and write without looking things up and pausing in deep thought. He worries that it won't be PERFECT and that can slow him down or even stop him. If he took it more seriously there would be manuscripts ready to send out and focus on the career he really wants. Sigh. Why is it so difficult to do the things we are most suited to do?
Anyway, Saturday I got a call from my Dad telling me my stepmom had had a stroke. I tried to convince him I should meet him at the hospital but he told me to wait until the next day as Saturday would be full of tests. Sunday I made a floral arrangement then G and I headed into the hospital. It's a small hospital and it looks like it's all private rooms (very nice). By the time we got there she had already gotten movement back in the leg that had been affected. Her doctor came while we were there and he was thrilled with her recovery. We stayed and chatted for awhile and then headed for home. Monday I went to my Dad's for a short while then had a bit of anxiety so I retreated to home. When I called the next day I heard that she had come home. Now she'll be on coumadin (boy i remember that :( ) and all in all it seems she's lucky it wasn't worse.
As for me, there's really no excuse. The weather is awful, but then it is everywhere right now - isn't it. I had a listing on ebay taken down for no reason. Why wouldn't I get some kind of notification if something was wrong? So, that sort of stopped me from ebaying. Must start again as I have too much stockpiled that must go. Keeping all this MAC would be rather indulgent of me and I'm really trying to be practical (HA!). Today I found a bag of Lush I had misplaced. So many bath bombs and soaps. I'm lucky they didn't go bad (Lush has no preservatives). They weren't opened and they were stored n a plastic bag so lack of air must've kept them :) A very luxurious bath warmed me up tonight. Actually, our house is so warm and comfy I was able to slip on my new Norma Kamali nightgown without freezing my bits off.
Willow is snuggled next to me on the couch, I think Emma just woke up. She tends to play and get a bit crazy from midnight 'til 2 am. We call it "Crazy Time". G is on the other sofa blogging about video games. I love it when he writes. I wish he would both take it less seriously and more seriously, which I know makes little sense to anyone but me. If he took it less seriously he could just sit down and write without looking things up and pausing in deep thought. He worries that it won't be PERFECT and that can slow him down or even stop him. If he took it more seriously there would be manuscripts ready to send out and focus on the career he really wants. Sigh. Why is it so difficult to do the things we are most suited to do?
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