rejoined Sparkpeople

this is from one of their articles:
Research shows that a perpetual lack of sleep can:


•Undermine the body's ability to fight off disease.

•Reduce the quality and quantity of your work

•Mimic the symptoms of impaired glucose tolerance (which can lead to diabetes and hypertension).

•Hinder weight loss and/or cause weight gain

•Impair concentration

•Cause disorientation

•Slow down the body's reaction time

•Increase moodiness and irritation

•Lead to depression

that should be enough evidence for me to REALLY work on better sleep. Just now, I went to bed, read for awhile then G came to bed. After 5 mins. with the lights out I just couldn't lie there anymore. All I could feel or think about was the pain in my legs. So.. I got up and went to the livingroom to find some pain pills. I really DO TRY to sleep but either my body or my mind always get in the way. I maay have to do a short course of ambien or something. My doctor seems to think that if I can change my sleep for a couple weeks then I could stop the pills because I would have a habit and going to bed earlier would be easy.
 
Started packing up the Christmas decorations today. Only got a box packed up with my Boyds bears. I really love the small Boyds - wonder why I haven'r gotten one in 2 (3?) years now? Guess I really don't go in those little country type stores that sell them any more.
 
G has been a little under the weather. Even though I feel like we have plenty of food in the house so much of it has the potential to make him sick. The one thing we're out of is yogurt and that would've really been good for him tonight. I did offer him a variety of choices for dinner and when he finally said "you don't have to do that" I knew he wanted the chocken parmesan. So, I made him a little caserole dish of it and he really enjoyed. That makes me happy! I don't cook too much, but when he goes back to work I really want to make sure I do that for him.
 
I've been having this weird feeling lately. I look at things I like and consider buying them. However, I've been able to tell myself, "you have enough shoes" (makeup, bags, art supplies). That would be great but it kinda leaves me hanging and feeling a little uncomfortable. How do I transition into doing things instead of buying things?
 
STUFF TO DO SUNDAY:  buy drygas, see Mom, pickup yoga mat, bananas & yogurt at TJs, put away decorations, ebay something, order filter for dishwasher

worked on a stack of paintings tonight

Tried to go to sleep around midnight but ended up fiddling around with paint and glazes until all canvases in progress were so wet they just had to be left alone for the night. A few hours later I walked by them again and still thought they were pretty good. That's promising. Let's see if they pass the next day test. Not that there will be a next day as i can't seem to sleep. I tried a little klonopin (cause I can't take too many, it'll leave Glen short and his anxiety trumps my insomnia) and had to take allergy pills a few hours later for super fuzzy head/sinus pain. Still no sleep. As of now my knee is unbearable so I am giving in and taking a pain pill. If I don't fall asleep there's not much else I can do. Can't mix/add any more meds.

Went to my Dad's earlier today. Picked up some money and then went searching for decanting supplies at the local dollar stores. The first store had NOTHING and the second one had some generic pain killers we take, eyeshadow palette and a little basket of shells INCLUDING A STARFISH!! I've needed a small starfish for an assemblage I started a month ago. So glad i found him for $1. Finally headed home. My knee was bothering me, the traffic was INSANE and I just felt wiped. Glen ended up finishing up my errands (the bank and pick up my new sandals) while I caught a nap. The fuzzy headed feeling just leaves me good for nothing and it makes me postpone my allergy shots which just snowballs. Grrr...

Even though we considered going to the lakehouse, when it got dark and I was home cuddling with Willow I was grateful to be home. We'll get there as soon as we can. Glen was awesome and unpacked the suitcase I'd already packed.

This week I went for a second opinion on my knee. I've finally had all the necessary tests and was prepared for surgery. Torn ACL, torn meniscus, Bakers cyst, horrible arthritis, etc. The surgeon we met with sent me for an xray, looked at it and said that I needed a knee replacement but was too young. I asked about possibly fixing the other problems and he just repeated I was too young. Didn;t look at my ultrasound or MRI. I started bawling as soon as we walked out of the office. How does a Harvard educated surgeon sentence someone to a life of pain? It has taken me a few days to be able to talk about it. I'm going to try to get more opinions. It just doesn't seem right.

up too late

I really wish my body could adjust to a schedule. A schedule that allowed me to be a part of the REAL world. Sure, it's pretty normal for an artist to be up all night, but it sucks that I have such a hard time getting things done during the day. Tomorrow (today). Friday - whatever - I have to go get my allergy shots. I hate doing it cause it's not a quick thing. After you get the shots you have to hang out to make sure you don't have an allergic reaction. The waiting room is always full of loud sneezey kids. Ewwww... I don't touch the magazines, I bring my Zune and a book. After that I need to go get the 3rd Euflexxa shot it my knee. Although I definately improve after them it does hurt for a day or 2 after. But then I don't get any more for 6 mths. woot!
Of course my appts. aren't scheduled together so I need to find something to do with myself that won't entail shopping. If I can possibly go home inbetween I will. Cause then Glen can come with me, we'll get lunch and after I get my knee injection he can drive (while I whine).

Playing with my new phone, filling it up with music. I was excited to shoot video with it (and I have) but I can't DO anything with the video now. I guess I need to use Quicktime, but something isn't right. Plus, how will i edit it if I can't use Windows movie maker? Grrr...
About the SCHEDULE. I really want to implement "work hrs" during the day where I sit down at my drafting table or easel and just work. Waiting for "inspiration" is just a cop out. Showing up is the key. I don't expect 8 hr days, maybe 10-1 and 3-6? If I just had a coach to whip me into shape.

painty goodness

friday = much painty goodness!
thick handmade book of art, ready for even more inspiration to be spilled
studio is too cluttered to work right now
asthma is getting better as the weather gets better
dyed hair / need to do it again!
sleep schedule is BAD / wish I could sleep like "normal" folk!
made Willow's vet appt. , that'll be a challenge!
must finish copying cds and mail
saving $ and bought a cd! (**not COMPACT DISC**CERTIFICATE OF DEPOSIT)
still want a new camera! HELP!! do i need it??

I was up all night last night. Thoughts racing, no good reason, just unable to quiet down and stop "planning". So I didn't get to sleep until around 8am this morning. Normally, I'd still wake up around noon or 1pm, as I don't sleep for long periods. Today I'd given in and taken clonazapam, guaranteeing an actual 8 hours of sleep. So, I rolled out of bed around 4pm. Called my sweetie who was on his way home, read for awhile, cuddled the cats. Ate some turkey. When I got around to logging on and tracking a package (that should've been here DAYS ago) UPS claimed to have been here at 4:10. I was awake at 4, there was no doorbell, there's no note outside. Grrr.. If I have to stay home tomorrow to wait for them there will be heck to pay.