Sinus infection, ear ache, sore throat and fever. Lucky me. Plus, the meds are making me itch SO BAD! Tried to sleep for a few hours but ended up downloading vast quantities of apps to play with instead. Even tried one that was supposed to help me sleep by playing relaxing souds (rain, padding water, breezes and other soothing sounds) like they do at the spa. Still didn't sleep.
Talked to Dad in the afteroon. He'd just gotten back from Maine where my nephew shot his 3rd moose. It was HUGE! They brought 900 lbs. of moose steaks, burger, sausages, etc. home. I'm not thrilled with their hunting, but the animals live good lives in the wild (vs. those on cattle farms) and my family (not I, but the rest of them) do eat what they kill. Also, the extremely low fat and cholesterol makes it very healthy. So, yeah, after so so many years I have finally come to terms with the hunting.
Anyway, Dad is going to come down for lunch one day this week (when I'm not so oboxiously sick) 'cause I really haven't seen him too much lately. I saw him briefly the day I got home from Squam, but was too tired to hang out. Before that he was in Alaska and before that I was in the hospital. So, yeah, think I should hang out with Dad for a while. Optimistically, I plan to make lunch here. Reaistically, we'll probably end up at the new restaurant down the street. This place was so great when we first moved here. The food was great, the prices were low, they had huge luxurious buffets on holidays and a great bar/venue for live music. My bridal shower was there too, in one of the dining rooms. Anyway, it;s been done over and I'm hoping it's even half as good so it can be our hangout againl The kind of place you might go out to when you want to go out but don't really have plans. Hecjk I don't even drink anymore so I'd just be in it for the music.
Later on I called Mom (I do wish she'd call me once in a while). She always says she knows I'm busy but more to the point I think she doesn't want to *bother* me. Well, it makes me feel bad but there doesn'r seem to be much I can do to change her. Talking to Mom, she seees irritated and on the verge of tears when she talked about her sisters. I don't know if I should attempt to intervene and see if they'll make an effort. For all I know she's doing the same thing to them that she does to me. Next week is another CAT scan and I'm going to be terrified til we hear from her doc. I am praying that it hasn't progressed. Or maybe, for a miracle! PLEASE~~
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
I haven't been here in a while and I'm not totally sure why. Well, lately I've been rolling a book idea around in my head and I haven't *done* anything about it. For nearly three months I've been developing characters and setting scenes, but it's all been in my head. I think it's time to admit that this might be writers block. Not something I've dealt with in quite some time (if at all). I couldn't help but equate this with facing a blank canvas and for that I've learned to just show up. Put something down, anyhing, just start working. You can go back and edit it later, or throw it away or just paint over it. In paintinng (and all my art making) I truly enjoy the process and generally don't hem and haw over each little brushstroke. If I get something worthwhile out of it, well that's a bonus. Arranging my palette, stretching a canvas, mixing colors and patting it on (or dabbing or scrubbing..) is meditative. I believe this approach allows the painter to get out of their own way and access the non logical, creative pathways of the brai.n.
Posted by ! at 3:10 AM