Saturday, July 3, 2010

worked on a stack of paintings tonight

Tried to go to sleep around midnight but ended up fiddling around with paint and glazes until all canvases in progress were so wet they just had to be left alone for the night. A few hours later I walked by them again and still thought they were pretty good. That's promising. Let's see if they pass the next day test. Not that there will be a next day as i can't seem to sleep. I tried a little klonopin (cause I can't take too many, it'll leave Glen short and his anxiety trumps my insomnia) and had to take allergy pills a few hours later for super fuzzy head/sinus pain. Still no sleep. As of now my knee is unbearable so I am giving in and taking a pain pill. If I don't fall asleep there's not much else I can do. Can't mix/add any more meds.

Went to my Dad's earlier today. Picked up some money and then went searching for decanting supplies at the local dollar stores. The first store had NOTHING and the second one had some generic pain killers we take, eyeshadow palette and a little basket of shells INCLUDING A STARFISH!! I've needed a small starfish for an assemblage I started a month ago. So glad i found him for $1. Finally headed home. My knee was bothering me, the traffic was INSANE and I just felt wiped. Glen ended up finishing up my errands (the bank and pick up my new sandals) while I caught a nap. The fuzzy headed feeling just leaves me good for nothing and it makes me postpone my allergy shots which just snowballs. Grrr...

Even though we considered going to the lakehouse, when it got dark and I was home cuddling with Willow I was grateful to be home. We'll get there as soon as we can. Glen was awesome and unpacked the suitcase I'd already packed.

This week I went for a second opinion on my knee. I've finally had all the necessary tests and was prepared for surgery. Torn ACL, torn meniscus, Bakers cyst, horrible arthritis, etc. The surgeon we met with sent me for an xray, looked at it and said that I needed a knee replacement but was too young. I asked about possibly fixing the other problems and he just repeated I was too young. Didn;t look at my ultrasound or MRI. I started bawling as soon as we walked out of the office. How does a Harvard educated surgeon sentence someone to a life of pain? It has taken me a few days to be able to talk about it. I'm going to try to get more opinions. It just doesn't seem right.

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