I CAN"T FREAKIN' EAT!!!!!! GAH~!!

It's been a bad day. I really have been having some terrible problems eating lately. I just get so sick. Most of the day I was sick, and when I'd felt better for awhile I ate some popcorn. Yep. It's bland and it seems to be the only food I can handle. Lame. I was loving it for quite a few months, but now I'm kinda resentful. Know what triggered my stomach trouble today? Greek yogurt. A food i thought was safe. After being sick for HOURS I couldn't have any more yogurt and I am afraid of protein shakes. Nothing seems safe. And taking my vitamins & pills in this condition is rough. PLEASE let me wake up feeling better! I have 2 doc appts. I need to make it to. One is a good old fashioned bewbie squishing (mamogram). Lucky me! (and I really mean it 'cause too many people don't have healthcare right now and this is so important.)

Grasshoppers & Tim Bits

 Way laid back day. Slept late (yay!), ate my greek yogurt (working on my protein intake) while Glen ate his cereal then put on my bathing suit and walked down to the dock. It was beautiful and sunny. Went in swimming for a bit, but the sun was in and out so I didn't stay as long as usual. My legs are still sore though, so I did get a fair bit of exercise. Went back to the house and hung around the deck watching the hummingbirds come and go. I am always amazed at how tiny they are. They look so much like bumblebees to me!

George the Grasshopper

While sitting on the deck this little fella came round. Since he was hanging out I figured I'd try to get a good picture of him. Why I didn't try macro, i don't know. Of course the weather turned gorgeous again. Didn't bother swimming anymore though. We decided to go get some groceries and explore a bit.

Since Glen has been pretty into coffee lately we stopped into Tim Hortons. Strangely, even though we drove all over Canada we had never tried it. I heard Tim Bits were the thing to get so we got a little box of them and a really good donut that had vanilla cream in it. While eating and hanging out i struck up a conversation with some older women wearing red and purple.

Of course that means they're in the "Red Hat Society" so I asked them what adventures they had planned for today. They said they were just there for coffee, but had recently taken a trolley trip up a mountain (I forget which one). They wanted to know all about us, where we were from, what we did, etc. I love chatting with strangers. It makes me feel that there's actually hope for the world when I meet people that aren't mean and bitter.  Cynical? Eh, at least I still have hope :)

Next we stopped at a Rite Aid because there were some chairs I wanted for the deck (here and at home). Luckily I found them! They're black iron with wicker seats and they're half off 'cause it's the end of season. We just have plastic furniture on our deck at home and I want to "stage" our deck when we decide to sell. They didn't have the matching table, but I'll get it next summer (or at another store). The deck chairs here are pretty old so it was good i found some replacements at such a great price. They may need to be painted white, but my dad has a spray paint machine so that won't be a problem.

Finally, we went to the Super Walmart for groceries. Found a new flavor of sugar free pudding. YAY!! Caramel!! Haven't tried it yet, but anything that's caramel and only 60 cal. is a winner in my book. Also got a box of mini cupcakes. Perfect for me, so I can have one but not get sick. And they're chocolate with chocolate frosting, so Glen is happy. LOL!!

Mostly this evening we've been relaxing. I took a little nap, Glen blogged. We're going to watch a little Craig Ferguson. Life is good :)

on the road again

Just can't wait to get on the road again. Yep, we're back at the lakehouse. Had a few days free so we came up, hoping to squeeze some more fun out of summer. I had a therapist appointment first thing this morning. She's nice, but I don't know that she's a good *fit*. She is also a nurse about to be licensed as a NP, so she understands my health concerns and nutritional needs. That's helpful. Maybe I was with my last therapist so long that we weren't breaking any new ground? Maybe she was too nice? Guess I need to roll this around in my head for a bit.

Then we had to give the housesitter our keys and drop our friend's birthday gifts off before we hit the road. By the time we got here we were both a little tired (and I was so sore!) so we indulged in short naps. The Maine air is just so different than home. I love falling asleep and smelling that air. Now we're sitting here eating sammiches and watching "Pawn Stars". Chillin'

Anyway, I think "Captain America" and "Super 8" are at the drive-in. Glen knows I'll see almost anything if it's at the drive-in, so I'm sure we're going. There's also a really nice independent bookstore down the road that has a great magazine selection (I love to buy art magazines on vacation). Mostly I'm planning on hammock naps, laying on the dock reading, swimming and painting in the backyard. We'll BBQ in the back yard and eat big salads made from the garden veggies. Late at night we'll have a fire and watch the fireflies! Yep, trying to squeeze the last bits of fun out of summer.

Blah. I just noticed I forgot my vitamins (it's always something). If there's a CVS in the area I'm in luck because I have $10 Extra Care Bucks to spend. If I have to pick them up at Rite Aid or Walmart so be it. And, of course, I'm still on the hunt for the Dreamweavers palettes so browsing the drugstores is a great idea.

Glen wants to blog, so I'm going to go take a bath in the giant tub under the stars (love that skylights!). Brought some Lush bath bombs and books - I'll be in there for hours!!

one of my fave people singing one of my fave songs

Zookeeper & Bad Teacher at the drivein this weekend

Found the Wet N' Wild Dream Weavers Limited Edition Eyeshadow Palettes

Haven't tried them yet, but they look super pretty. There are neutrals there for me to try (I'm more of a brights girl) and that yellow and pink are definitely out of my comfort zone, but I'm willing to give them a whirl at this price. The matte black looks like MAC's Carbon (which I already have) and the black glitter looks like Black Tied (which I also have). Guess I'm pointing them out 'cause those two dupes justify the whole set. 2 MAC shadows would be $22-$30 depending on of they're pro pans or pots. Wet N Wild quality has improved so much in the last couple years that I look forward to their new releases as much if not more than MAC's.

On another note, I am reading  Ron Sheffield's Talking to Girls About Duran Duran  and it's SO GOOD! The writer grew up on the South Shore of Boston (like me) so the references to local stores and radio stations is a crazy blast from the past. Thinking about getting it as a gift for a good friend. I think she'll enjoy the reference and reminiscing as much as I am. Strangely, I didn't care for his last book. Glad i gave him another try.

Lately I've been somewhat obsessed with nailpolish and the interesting things that can be done with it. After cruising MUA for hours, I've got a pretty good list going of colors I need, where to get them, etc. Since I didn't go anywhere this weekend I had to shop my stash for today's manicure. I also REALLY was jonesing for a duochrome.

This is the color I came up with. It's Sinful Colors "Let Me Go". After 3 coats I'm pretty sure it's not going to get any better. It's a very subtle opalescent effect. However, I'm pretty sure it would work out better with a blue or purple underneath. When this mani starts chipping I'll give that a go. Unless I come up with a new & fabulous polish in the meantime.

Tomorrow we're going to see Winnie The Pooh and I'm uber excited!! We'll stop for snacks and juices before the show. There may be random nailpolish browsing also. I'm just looking for the more interesting Sinful Colors I don't have and maybe the quick dry Wet N Wilds. I think the Party of Five glitter is a must have and it's only $1.99. Possibly Buffy The Violet Slayer, too!

sad songs, they say so much

Hanging out in the livingroom (the coolest room in the house) with Glen while watching "The Tourist" on DVD. Glen doesn't seem interested yet. I hope there's an explosion or something to lure him in!

It's been a terribly hot day. We haven't left the house and tomorrow's not going to be any better. However, boredom will probably win and I'll go do SOMETHING SOMEWHERE tomorrow. I really want to go see Winnie the Pooh, but I'm afraid super hot days probably mean the theatres will be jam packed with annoying little kids. So, we'll wait a week or 2.

Monday Glen took me to the pain doc. We discussed how bad the pain was when we TRIED to drive to Maine. There are a few options, none of them great and certainly none guaranteed to work. So, for now my meds are changed and I'll let her know when I'm ready to try injections again. I'd have a new doctor for that, which is great 'cause the last doc was kind of a jerk. There's also a thing they implant in your back that sends out electrical signals that are meant to confuse the pain signals. Not thrilled with the idea of an "implant". Sounds painful and invasive. Hopefully it won't come to that.

My new TENS machine arrived today and I can't get it to work. Will fiddle about with it later.

Working a wee bit on my online class. Must really throw myself into it. I'll regret it later if I blow if off. It all comes down to feeling like I need a dedicated space to work. Of course, my studio is filled with tvs and video game systems (and video games) so it's overwhelming to think of making room for making art.

Small Haul to make a gloomy day brighter

Getting on with things...

It was another horribly hot day. I didn't fall asleep until early this morning so I slept a bit late. Glen got up and went to his doc appt. alone while I hid in the a/c. Turns out he had a staph infection in his nose. Will pick up his meds @ Target tomorrow.

My toenails are now flourescent pink and my terribly peel-y fingernails have a coat or 2 of "seaweed" on them. The sage green is strangely beautiful in it's dinginess. "The Soloist" is on tv and I'm half paying attention to it. RDJ is so damn good. Willow is sleeping on the couch across from me. I wonder what Glen and Emma are doing?

husbands that make tacos are good to have around

Just finished this book, which was both depressing and sort of dull.  For some reason I stuck with it 'til the end. It's about a young girl being raised by her junkie father. She sort of slips into prostitution due to her father's neglect. I almost didn't finish it, but am glad i did because it didn't end as depressingly as I expected it would.

 Currently reading this book.  Although I only liked Duran Duran for a few years (during Jr. High, maybe?) the book is an interesting flash back to the 80s.

Nearly done and then it's onto a book by Betty White. I believe she's written a few, so if this one is good I'll have to get the rest.

suprises from UPS

For some reason (uh, stress), my sleep has been even more messed up than usual. I fell asleep last night (I have no idea what time) and woke up about 4am. Despite my best intentions I haven't been able to sleep since. It's funny feeling cold in the morning, pulling on more clothes and piling on the blankets only to start peeling them back off and changing repeatedly as the day becomes oppessive. My computer is telling me it's 80 degrees, but it's pretty damn sunny and fairly humid. I've had a headache off and on for the last day or so and I swear I'm dehydrated. Of course, I drink more than any one person should have to so there's not much more I can do.

The buzzer rang this morning and since I wasn't expecting anything it was a BIG surprise when the UPS man brought an uber-heavy box up the stairs. He handed it to me and I almost dropped it the weight was so surprising. I brought it in the house, still wreaking my brain and could not figure out what would be so heavy, make the kind of "thunk" noises it did and arrive out of the blue. Well, I slid my scissors under the tape and SUPRISE!! My Allure beauty box!! I 100% forgot about it. As I unpacked item after item I was just amazed at the good value it is. The funny thing is, I don't need body wash, or facial cleanser, or hair products for blondes. Aside from the things I don't NEED, the items that are left are worth so much more than what I paid. Squee!! Already have some of the hair products in my hair. I'm tempted to try a facial cleanser, but I'm really trying to use things up so I don't have dozens and dozens of bottles hanging around. I will try some of the ROC facial products and probably wear the NYX lip cream. I hope this isn't a color I already have. Can't be certain because I've misplaced the 2 I just bought. d'oh!

and we are reminded that life is pretty hard

Not much going on. At least nothing I want to talk about. I am making my middle of the night plans that I hope I will be able to execute when the sun comes up. Clothes to return, insurance calls to make, product photos to shoot, computer to ship back and on an on. Yesterday I was feeling pretty good about working on some keychains for an animal shelter fundraiser. After a half hour, maybe longer, I looked down and saw the "permanent" ink smudged on my hand and careas that were supposed to be white. Sigh, here's hoping I can sand the black off the white sections. Also, I pulled out my prismacolor colored pencils (which are fairly expensive) and I'm missing 1/4 of them. Mostly earth tones I need for this project. WTH? So random. I don't think I'll bother buying them individually as I can get a pretty good discount on a large set. Just sucks that I have to.

The last few days I've not been feeling well. And, I'm pretty sure I've messed up my stomach meds. Not eating, no schedule = no reason to remember meds. Yesterday I almost went to the hosiptal over the stomach pain after calling my primary care and gastroenterologist, both of whom refused to prescribe Sucralfate and instead told me to go to the hospital. Yeah, it's going to take an awful lot to get me back there. Today I slept off and on and then late at night the pain started again. Finally, I took a damn pill and I'm hoping I can keep ot up and avoid the hospital. It's not the bills, as I'm pretty sure I'm completely covered now. It's just the damn PLACE. I can't sleep there, everything is germy and gross, it's depressing.

It was a bad, bad day

I am reminded that Karma is, indeed, a bitch. The situation here is not good and I know I have been less than kind lately. Could the bad fortune be my fault? Whether or not it is, it reminds me to be gentler and kinder in my everyday life. Honestly, I had been so much better in recent years, but something about living with the pain so long has pushed me to the edge of mean and cynical. I have many intentions, but my intention right now is to make it to church NO MATTER WHAT. I need to sort this out. I need to be better, live better and understand what I'm meant to be doing here.

GRATEFUL FOR:

• healthy family and friends
• love of my kitties
• art to escape into
• a roof over my head and food on the table
• intellect to handle a bad situation and make it better
• savings
• skills to make money
• cheap medication (that works SOMETIMES)
• warmer weather and sun to boost my spirit

PLANS

• art girl days / nights
• sell jewelry
• promote blog
• shoot pix
• bbq at the beach
• movies with gift certificates
• dinner out with Groupons
• swimming in Maine (need swimfins)

it's the little things

So, today was not great. That's all I'm going to say about that. Well, a little.. I'm just starting my course of prednisone and it's not doing anything yet... Unless you count the fact that it KNOCKS ME ON MY ASS. WTF? I know I haven't taken them in awhile. but I don't remember this.

Now, for the good stuff. One of Glen's birthday gifts came in the mail, so I wrapped it up and had it ready for him. Pretty good timing, as he'd had a long/ rough day and I think it helped. Second good thing, Glen was able to go get my nerve meds for me this morning. I didn't wake up (that I remember, of course) so he went and got them. Ya know, 'cause he loves me :)  Third good thing, I had dinner ready for Glen when he came home. This is my goal NO MATTER WHAT. I have had some days I couldn't manage it since being sick (the month before and the month after the hospital were pretty rough), but I am really trying to keep this one up. Fourth, I relisted some ebay listings.

Still have a million phone calls to make, forms to fill out and general bureaucracy to deal with. The only thing I did was call the bank and they said they can't fix the issue until tomorrow. Oh well, at least they said they can fix it.

Tomorrow will be better.

I WILL:

• call bank back
• fill out gym app
• fill out student loan app
• make and list 1 pair of earrings
• put away laundry
• make giant salad for lunch & dinner
• fill 3 bags with donations

tornado watch in the state of massachusetts tonight

so, I cleaned and threw stuff away and eventually passed out whilst watching the lightning show in the bedroom. woke up when I heard Glen come home. We're having a wee bit of dinner and then back to bed. Tomorrow we need to pick up some essentials,. run some errands and hopefully grab lunch (or breakfast) at Strawberry Fair Restaurant. After Glen goes to work some serious art-ing will get done. Whenther by myself or with my artgirl. I have PROMISED myself there will be work up for sale this week and that I will continue to create and sell. Once I got in the groove before things moved swimmingly, so I plan to find that groove again. ONE drawback will be that my beloved laptop is being sent in for service (probably tomorrow or Friday). So, I will need to get things done between Glen's & Marie's. Shant be a problem, right? List item, blog, promote, repeat..

Things I want in my DAILY life:

• music
• create
• sell my work
• speak to friends / don't isolate
• write
• blog
• yoga

Things I want in my OVERALL life:

• swimming
• travel
• concerts
• movies
• good times with friends
• reading
• organized life
• progress towards less pain
• exhibit my art
• art retreat

Things that need to happen THURSDAY:

• Target to pick up nerve pain meds
• photo jewelry
• list at least ONE piece
• make jewelry
• clean desk in studio
• BUY AMANDA TICKETS!!!

going to Wales, going to Wales, going to Wales, going to Wales

Yep, our Gathering confirmation came. It's official, we are FINALLY going back to the UK. At minimum it will be for the Gathering, but I am hoping to stretch the trip to include a long meander through England and Scotland. I can't help it, but I'm already thinking about clothes, luggage, shopping.. There is so much makeup I need to get there I should probably make a list or risk missing out on some essentials. Of course, the exchange rate isn't great so mostly we'll be going places, taking pictures and doing things. May have to purchase a tardis, though.

Picked up a small blender yesterday, specifically to make my protein drinks with. The cup you blend in is actually a "to go" cup so it's really convenient. Wellll.... I tried it today. Not a particularly crazy protein recipe or anything. However, I got about half way through it when I became so sick. i don't know if I am THAT super sensitive to dairy (I did use Lactaid milk) or if there was a bit too much sugar in it. Not added sugar, just sugar from the ingredients. So, when my stomach finally calmed down I collapsed into bed and slept 4 hours or so. Now, it's 5:34 am and I haven't gotten anymore sleep. Grrr... All I want to do is go pick  up our new tv (please let it be right this time) and start my day. Of course G is sleeping and the friend I'm supposed to hang with today is probably asleep too.

Willow is staring at me in that super fluffy way of his

Pain meds are restocked and I'm experimenting with taking them on a schedule rather than waiting for the pain to become unbearable. It's counterintuitive to me as I generally feel like I should be "fighting" the pain and not give in. However, the first 2 days of taking my meds on a schedule have been pretty good. This experiment may prove worthwhile.

Still adjusting to a sleep schedule. Overslept some this morning, but will make it to the bead breakfast with Marie next week. I got the rugs cleaned yesterday, sofas and shower. There's alot more to do if we're having company.

• bring rug to Marie
• put down new rug
• paint kitchen wall
• clean den
• deal with insurance
• buy G's gift
• buy party snacks
• yoga
• dye hair
• hair cut
• new counter

rainy days and sundays

Sort of a laid back weekend. Am really running low on pain meds so I'm weighing my actions against the possible (painful) repercussions. Glen did end up nudging me to go out shopping. We went to Ulta where I got 3 NYX single shadows and then B&BW where I got 2 candles and 2 body lotions. They all smell like summer (coconut, pineapple, etc.). On the way home we stopped at the dollar store where I picked up 3 HIP lip glosses, alphabet stickers, stencils and gluesticks. Really great journaling supplies for dirt cheap.

Weird, but I was pretty tired tonight (and not in much pain) so I took a nap around 8pm. My sleeping has gotten so much better in the last month or so. I'm finally sleeping like a normal person. Even the QUALITY of sleep is different. I feel well rested. It's nice.

Painting my nails orange right now. Sort of wishing summer, I guess.

Ulcer is still ucky

Friday was pretty bad pain-wise. The ulcer was really causing alot of trouble and I couldn't keep anything down. At one point I almost packed a bag for the hospital, but I knew I didn't want to go until G was home so I held off. Eventually I was able to take my stomach meds and get some water in. At least I got to watch the wedding as BBC repeated it all day long. By the time G came home I was significantly better - if exhausted.

Then last night I couldn't fall asleep for the longest time so I read, did my nails, watched movies, etc. My back and knee were very painful and I can only assume it was because I'd been off my nerve pain meds for too long. I took as much medication as I could handle but still was up and down all night. Finally fell asleep this morning but had to wake G up around 11:00 to take Emma to her post op checkup. Strangely, G told me that - I don't actually remember it. Unfortunately, they told G that they are closing. This really s*cks 'cause I haven't liked a vet as much as them. I really wish we'd gotten Willow in to have his teeth cleaned before this. Now, we'll have to find someplace else that we trust :( PLUS, I think they gave us a price break on Emma's teeth cleaning which was super nice of them.

Got a few art/craft books in the mail. Got them on a super sale and one is probably a gift so I don't feel guilty. Nope.

some of my friend's jewelry

I just needed a place to park these pix for awhile/

The Breakfast Club

Today I went with a friend to a neat thing called The Breakfast Club. It's a meeting of jewelry artists that get together at a local bead store (wholesaler?) and work together while eating breakfast. I got a few things done. Some interesting hair combs which will probably be for my Mom, some experimenting with new wraps/bezels and some pendants. Everyone was super nice and we all had different styles and interests so we definitely learned from each other. Afterwards I couldn't help myself I had to buy SOME beads. Anyway, we plan to keep going Mondays and I'm also going to try going Tuesdays. Getting work done like that will help my motivation to sell my work, stock my webstore, book craft fairs. The things I really want to get done.

Taxes are done (finally). Probably way too much stress for me right now, but i got it done. We owed. Not good. Must cut back for awhile to make up for it.

it's 5:47 and i'm out of tylenol

have been up all night. ache so bad and feverish off and on. hopefully will get some sleep cause i am exhausted and feel like cr@p. watched a pretty good movie that sort of put me in the mood to write again.

 i'm considering popping in Rushmore but I would rather sleep. making a deal with myself: if i'm not asleep by 6:30 i'll watch Rushmore. wonder if it's still one of my faves? hmm.. maybe g will pick up my tylenol from Target so he can bring me home 16 Candles? if i'm still fluish i'll ask...

up all night... oohh stayin' up all night..

My body and schedule are just not normal right now. I think what happened was the pain was bad, i took 2 pain pills, I got TREMENDOUSLY itchy from the pills and couldn't sleep. So, when the itching died down yesterday I got a bit of a nap and now that the sun is up my circadian rhythmns are fighting sleep. Wonder if I could wake G up for a post Valentine's breakfast (we never made it out on VDay so we're planning to go out soon)? But then all the breakkie foods I love are almost impossible for me to eat now. Bye bye pancakes...

I am wrestling with feelings of inadequacy right now as I continue to feel like I let people down :( . G, family, friends.. I wonder how long they will be tolerant of me?

SUPER OPTIMISTIC PLANS FOR TODAY:
call M
gesso canvas'
go out to eat with G
Ulta
clean/sort/donate clothes from den
press shadows

working on a painting

Currently revisiting a painting I gave up on awhile back. Not sure if it's coming together yet, but mucking about with it is keeping my mind off things. Today i'm going to mix some varnishes/glazes and see if I can add some depth and cohesiveness. Maybe pix tomorrow?

My doctor has finally written me a script for enough pain pills that I don't have to worry about running out at a bad time. Of course, she wrote it because the pain has been awful lately. And now I have the added side effect of itching and scratching. Lucky me. Anyway, I looked it up and it's not something to worry about. Right now I'm awake and writing here while G is in bed sleeping. Why? Cause I currently feel like I've been kicked in the back. It's a nausea/pain and I don't know if I'll be able to sleep at all.

The most frustrating part of the whole pain thing is WANTING to do things and then not being able to. I can make these lists and plans at night when I'm feeling ok but in the morning the pain is from my neck down to the soles of my feet. Then I feel good for nothing because there's no way i can do even 1/2 of what I wanted to. My uber-patient friend wants me to hang out when she gets out of work but I just can't push myself to do anything.

reading

watching

good morning

5:30 am and I'm not asleep. watching tv but not really. Emma is on the loveseat next to me and I've tucked her in under my Nightmare Before Christmas blanket. Earlier today I tucked her under the flannel gnome sheets on our bed. She is unbelievably cute in both situations! I kinda want to get a picture of her little head poking out, but I don't want to disturb her.

G and I didn't do much today. Too much tv, too much internet. Had tentative plans that fell through so we just stayed in and I made us cheeseburger hamburger helper and garlic bread. mmm... One cool thing was there were tv shows about kitties on all day. One show featured a woman that had a cat rescue/home and all I can think when I see these people is "why can't I do that?". Why? Cause I don't believe I have the heart for it. How do you rescue some animals and not others? How do you go into a pound and only take 1 cat (cause that's all the room you have for at that moment)? I am seriously considering going to volunteer at a rescue. If I can't handle it I can't handle it.

Hot Pink NYX Blush & Space pigment

Glen dropped me off at the front of Ulta (cause it's FREAKIN COLD!) and I had a bit of a browse through the potions and powders. The Bare Minerals MUA wanted to "help" me but I just let her find me the Lorac 3D set. Swatched the new Urban Decay chubby eyeshadow pencils and was REALLY impressed. They seem to be as waterproof & longlasting as the 24/7 liners. Speaking of which, I didn't even look for the anniversary set and I really need to see it before I buy it. Hmmm... another Ulta trip, perhaps? Anyway, I looked round til I found the new EXPANDED NYX display and then didn't know what to get. The leopard bronzer looks GREAT, but I'm accumulating too many bronzers for a girl so pasty and pale. Who knows, might get it later. Decided on the Hot Pink cream blush and Space pigment. Using my coupon they came out to less than $7.00.

Next stop Bath & Body Works. Dragged G in so I could get an extra free body spray (he's good like that). I didn't see one for Forever Sunshine :( so I'm waiting to get that. Did pick out 6 of the new mini candles in the summer scents and got Black Amethyst & Twilight Woods free. I really like that they offer the small sizes as I hardly ever run out of anything so the small sizes suit me better.

Got back to the car and talked with M until we were home. Much talk of bras and boobies~! LOL~ Today I got dressed and put on this bra I hadn't worn in AGES and it just didn't feel right. I took it off, adjusted it, put it on. Weird, I looked weird in it. Then I took it off and looked at the size. 44C! When did I wear that?? It's so pretty, has it really been sitting there 3 years?? Makes me think it's time to get refitted.

In serious news, I am confused by the news out of Egypt. I understand why the citizens wanted him gone but I worry about what will come next. A democratic society is a process and it won't happen overnight. The new government may not be great. And, yes, I worry what that means for us.

watching youtube on a Friday night

Typing this with a pile of goodies on the coffee table and makeup swatches on my hand. It was a good day. We slept too late (I swear because of the weather) and I had a rough time getting going, but eventually we did. Picked up some iced tea then headed to Target. Picked up a prescription and got a $10 giftcard in return. Woot! All my experiences with the Target pharmacy have been so good. Really personal service and the pharmacists have really gone above and beyond to help us work out prescription issues. If they can keep this up I'll probably never go back to CVS. Heck, I think we ended up using CVS just because they had a drivethru and were near the library.

Anyway, got the groceries at Target and really stocked up on kitty litter, treats and Fancy Feast. Must be prepared in case of another New England blizzard. After we ran back to the car with the food I wavered as to where we would go next. Had a dozen things to do but really didn't want to do anything. Promised to do a favor for a friend yesterday so we headed for Colony Place.

Friday To Do List

allergist
Target: inhaler + groceries
Ulta: Lorac + NYX
Bath & Body Works: free coupons
AC Moore: use 40% coupon for art magazine
Michaels: check out the $ stuff
put away clothes from den

still hanging around

Not up to much. Have had a bit of a crap week, actually. Back pain, tummy trouble and bitter cold weather has got me a bit down. I guess I have a virus or something cause I've been ill for 3-4 days.  Eating is making me sick, but my back is horrible so I have to *try* to eat with the painkillers. Blargh. Thought it was getting better but ate 1/2 my dinner and have been sick since.

Anyway, if I can manage it I'm heading out to Ulta tomorrow (today?) and maybe Bath & Body Works. All they have to do is give me a damn coupon and I end up in their stores. Such a well trained consumer. I hope B&BW has Forever Sunshine. I want to check it out cause if it really is similar to Viva La Juicy I need it!

For some reason I borrowed "New Moon" from the library and will have to watch it. Or try to watch it. I'm sure it's not very good.

Started to break in the new sketchbook G got me. Just some colored inks and glitter so far. Need to gesso a bunch of pages so they're sturdy and ready to go.  It seems such a great size to carry around but it kind of heavy. We'll see. Maybe if I get rid of some of the junk I carry in my purse.

Ugh... stomach is bad and we are out of tums. I've had loads of them this week and they seemed to help. I wish we had pepto pills - I can't stomach the liquid. Would a be a horrible wife if I asked G to go get more tums out of the first aid kit in the car?

Kind of a gloomy mood

Haven't posted here for a bit, haven't made anything in a week or so. The winter weather is really getting to me and I know it's bad for G.

Current obsession is The Tudors and I'm only done with season 1

Anyway, Saturday I got a call from my Dad telling me my stepmom had had a stroke. I tried to convince him I should meet him at the hospital but he told me to wait until the next day as Saturday would be full of tests. Sunday I made a floral arrangement then G and I headed into the hospital. It's a small hospital and it looks like it's all private rooms (very nice). By the time we got there she had already gotten movement back in the leg that had been affected. Her doctor came while we were there and he was thrilled with her recovery. We stayed and chatted for awhile and then headed for home. Monday I went to my Dad's for a short while then had a bit of anxiety so I retreated to home. When I called the next day I heard that she had come home. Now she'll be on coumadin (boy i remember that :( ) and all in all it seems she's lucky it wasn't worse.

As for me, there's really no excuse. The weather is awful, but then it is everywhere right now - isn't it. I had a listing on ebay taken down for no reason. Why wouldn't I get some kind of notification if something was wrong? So, that sort of stopped me from ebaying. Must start again as I have too much stockpiled that must go. Keeping all this MAC would be rather indulgent of me and I'm really trying to be practical (HA!). Today I found a bag of Lush I had misplaced. So many bath bombs and soaps. I'm lucky they didn't go bad (Lush has no preservatives). They weren't opened and they were stored n a plastic bag so lack of air must've kept them :) A very luxurious bath warmed me up tonight. Actually, our house is so warm and comfy I was able to slip on my new Norma Kamali nightgown without freezing my bits off.

Willow is snuggled next to me on the couch, I think Emma just woke up. She tends to play and get a bit crazy from midnight 'til 2 am. We call it "Crazy Time". G is on the other sofa blogging about video games. I love it when he writes. I wish he would both take it less seriously and more seriously, which I know makes little sense to anyone but me. If he took it less seriously he could just sit down and write without looking things up and pausing in deep thought. He worries that it won't be PERFECT and that can slow him down or even stop him. If he took it more seriously there would be manuscripts ready to send out and focus on the career he really wants. Sigh. Why is it so difficult to do the things we are most suited to do?

I feel like the Black Swan

Finally went to see Black Swan Monday. Really liked it. I used this image because I absolutely ADORED the makeup in the film.

Marie and I were reading art magazines at Borders when we started talking about Black Swan. She just happened to have passes with her so we headed over to see it. It has been SO LONG since I've gone to the movies. I think the last time must have been at the drive-in when we were in Maine this summer. (BTW all movies are BETTER when seen at the drive-in)

Yesterday G and I hung out at M's house. He wrote (ALOT) and we made PMC pieces. They were my very first pieces. They're small but I'm hopeful I'll be able to use them as pendants. Can't wait to see them fired and tumbled. I have more clay to play with but I think I'll wait 'til I see my pieces before moving on. Or maybe practice with bronze clay instead. The pure silver I'm using is pretty expensive so I should probably practice with bronze first. M's Mom was making sauce all day so we had a delicious dinner of meatballs and pasta before I finally had to give in and leave 'cause my back had gotten so bad.

Laid down and started a live U2 video when I got home. Had to fight to keep my eyes open until it was done, but it was good. I didn't realize until I was watching it but it was the concert they had broadcast on Youtube (which I watched several times before). Not the best concert I've seen of theirs but still very good.

more pix 'til I get around to writing a post

very uncomfortable in my skin

Really. really have been feeling weird these last few days. I feel like I could climb out of my skin. Have tried to relax and read - no go. Can't concentrate. So, I got some sleep (a few hours after hours of getting up and down outta bed) and am now trying to kill time until I'm myself again. Can't call the doctor ( I'm wondering if this is a part of my insomnia) cause I still don't have our insurance sorted out. Well, I bet I COULD call her if I told her why I can't come in. She's been pretty good about helping me on the phone. I really do have somewhere to be and right now I just can't :(  More adventures in letting people down, I guess.

On the bright side, the livingroom, kitchen and bedroom are all looking pretty good. Having everyone here fore Christmas had it's added benefits. Now, if I could only tackle the studio. I look at all sorts of organizational pieces and am tempted to buy them, but right now isn't the time. Maybe when I get the storage towers full and a work area clean I'll see what I might still need.

rejoined Sparkpeople

this is from one of their articles:
Research shows that a perpetual lack of sleep can:


•Undermine the body's ability to fight off disease.

•Reduce the quality and quantity of your work

•Mimic the symptoms of impaired glucose tolerance (which can lead to diabetes and hypertension).

•Hinder weight loss and/or cause weight gain

•Impair concentration

•Cause disorientation

•Slow down the body's reaction time

•Increase moodiness and irritation

•Lead to depression

that should be enough evidence for me to REALLY work on better sleep. Just now, I went to bed, read for awhile then G came to bed. After 5 mins. with the lights out I just couldn't lie there anymore. All I could feel or think about was the pain in my legs. So.. I got up and went to the livingroom to find some pain pills. I really DO TRY to sleep but either my body or my mind always get in the way. I maay have to do a short course of ambien or something. My doctor seems to think that if I can change my sleep for a couple weeks then I could stop the pills because I would have a habit and going to bed earlier would be easy.
 
Started packing up the Christmas decorations today. Only got a box packed up with my Boyds bears. I really love the small Boyds - wonder why I haven'r gotten one in 2 (3?) years now? Guess I really don't go in those little country type stores that sell them any more.
 
G has been a little under the weather. Even though I feel like we have plenty of food in the house so much of it has the potential to make him sick. The one thing we're out of is yogurt and that would've really been good for him tonight. I did offer him a variety of choices for dinner and when he finally said "you don't have to do that" I knew he wanted the chocken parmesan. So, I made him a little caserole dish of it and he really enjoyed. That makes me happy! I don't cook too much, but when he goes back to work I really want to make sure I do that for him.
 
I've been having this weird feeling lately. I look at things I like and consider buying them. However, I've been able to tell myself, "you have enough shoes" (makeup, bags, art supplies). That would be great but it kinda leaves me hanging and feeling a little uncomfortable. How do I transition into doing things instead of buying things?
 
STUFF TO DO SUNDAY:  buy drygas, see Mom, pickup yoga mat, bananas & yogurt at TJs, put away decorations, ebay something, order filter for dishwasher